FOR THE PICKIEST LONDONERS
Eating nutritious food can be nice - it has the potential to add some pretentiousness to your Instagram feed and also, make your inner self smug for demolishing a plateful of leafy greens. “When was the last time I had something that was not deep-fried?”
“Gosh, this is where I belong!” But the reality is we all know you belong somewhere else. Your heart feels somewhat empty, unsatisfied and slightly lost.
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You crave real food. You crave greasy carbs. You crave a pizza.
Despite my perpetual loyalty and love for Vantra, sometimes it is difficult to trick my brain into thinking that a nourishing salad can satisfy the seemingly everlasting carb cravings. Bros before hoes? No, pizza before salad. Always.
Whilst the vegan scene is expanding rapidly, finding a good plant-based pizza can be challenging. The UK’s most popular branches, Zizzi and Pizza Express, do offer a menu for those abstaining from dairy, meat and eggs, and have recently been joined by the American franchise, Pizza Hut. Yet, as divine as the meals might be, there is not much choice - the only ‘drastic’ change one can experience is switching from one veggie topping to another.
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Perhaps this is why the chefs at PickyWops, Andrea and Cristiano, decided to ditch all animal products earlier this year, becoming the first 100% vegan pizza takeaway in West London.
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The two masters behind self-proclaimed ''London's Best Pizza Take Away''. Source: pickywops.com
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Situated in Fulham, a five-minute walk away from GreenBay, the UK’s first fully vegan supermarket, PickyWops does indeed turn out to be a take away; something my partner and I had not thought of prior to our visit. We position ourselves on the few bar stools available and begin the onerous task of assembling our dinner.
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With 18 different options to choose from, and over 30 additional toppings, the menu is overwhelming. I get slightly frustrated and nervous. There is some tension. “What would you like?” I abruptly look up. There is awkward eye contact between me and the chef…. who also happens to be the waiter.
I panic. My companion goes first; this tactic gives me an extra 15 seconds to decide on my order. After another half a minute of my mouth making “aah”, “eugh” and “umm” noises, I opt for the Vegan Victory with extra pesto and herbal seitan sausage because “where do vegans get their protein from? Salad, haha?”
While nothing illustrates my eating habits as accurately as ‘a passionate carboholic’, I do try to go for more wholesome options whenever possible. Organic kamut flour for my pizza base sounds nourishing enough, although I have absolutely no clue as to what to expect. My companion is not as pretentious, and therefore a humble multigrain pizza seems to be enough to satisfy him. For those willing to explore, or join the community of health freaks, PickyWops also offers turmeric, spirulina, hemp and burned wheat flour, all of which made at the premises.
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A funny way of carrying out the concept of take-away... One by one, UberEats and Deliveroo riders pop in the cramped place. A single pizza oven and two chefs struggle to keep up with the rising demand. I wonder when MY pizza will be ready? Is it prioritised above or below those who have ordered for delivery?
After inspecting the decor for almost half an hour, our pizzas finally arrived. The chef/waiter apologises and we dig in.
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Was it worth the wait? Source: Kate KÅ«lniece
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For this pizza, I could have waited for two hours if necessary. The crust - although I am not sure whether I fully grasped the kamut concept - is thin and crusty; a true Italian rustica. The warm, gooey cheese - a rare find on dairy-free supermarket shelves - goes hand in hand with pesto, courgette, roasted peppers, olives and mushrooms.
My hand sneakily reaches towards my companion’s plate (this is how relationships work, right?) and grabs a slice of his not-so-ostentatious-and-pompous pizza. Unexpectedly, this time, his choice turns out to be better. Lesson learnt: if you want a pizza, go for the real deal. No mucking around with healthier options.
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PickyWops, as the name suggests, is for the pickiest and fussiest of pizza eaters. This… this is where I truly belong.
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This article also appeared on Back of House.