''MONEY IS THE ANTHEM OF SUCCESS, SO BEFORE WE GO OUT - WHAT'S YOUR ADDRESS?'' - LANA DEL REY
ʻʻMy moral compass is confused,’’ I write to Jessica, ʻʻyou might talk me into doing this.’’ ʻʻGo for it,’’ she replies. ʻʻYou won’t regret it.’’
A couple of weeks before the end of Semester 1, my father emailed me. Besides seeing if I was doing alright and updating me on his latest achievements in our backyard (the pumpkin patch seemed to be growing well), he briefly enquired about my intentions once I finish my final year of undergraduate studies.
After altering the Subject line to ʻʻtears’’ and mentioning that I was fed up with life and university, I avoided giving the answer and suggested we talk about this in a few weeks’ time when I arrive back home during the Christmas break.
Although assignments had been piling up, it was not what had been frustrating me. The end of Semester 1 and the short break in-between made me realise that July was not that far. After three years of painstaking studies, I will become a fresh graduate. And like the majority of my fellow students across the UK, I will be graduating with a huge debt of almost £30,000 to pay back to the British Government.
As this, according to a 2017 research by Intelligent Environments, has caused a huge rise of anxiety and distress amongst students, it is perhaps no wonder that a rising proportion of students are willing to take drastic measures to be able pay for their tuition fees, housing bills and other expenses.
Source: Independent
A study by the London South Bank University conducted with the Independent in 2017, found that a shocking one in three former and current students would be interested in spending their time and company in exchange for financial support. The same 30% would also consider having sex with a stranger if there was money involved.
This ʻʻis not prostitution,’’ writes Brandon Wade, who once insisted that ʻʻlove is a concept made up by poor people’’. He is the CEO and the founder of several dating sites, all of which have attracted international criticism on the moral ambiguity. One of these sites is Seeking Arrangement, which over the last year experienced a 42% surge of sign-ups coming from ambitious yet money-strapped under and postgraduates.
Brandon Wide, a sugar daddy himself, and his wife, Tanya Wade. Source: vulcanpost.com
This is not traditional dating. Here, is where approximately 2 million wealthier men and women (sugar daddies/sugar mommies) can legally ‘shop’ for younger and attractive companions (sugar babies). In the world of arrangements, they are the ones dictating the rules - their profile shows what they are looking for (a wide range stretching from ʻʻemotional connection and long-term romance if we hit off’’ to a ʻʻno strings attached kinky friends with benefits’’ agreement) and at what price. In return, besides indulging in the most extravagant restaurant meals and staying at lavish hotels, sugar babies are also showered in high-end gifts and stacks of money; a choice between a monthly allowance or Pay Per Meeting (PPM) type of arrangement.
With extra financial resources a few photos and dates away, it should come as no surprise that out of the 8 million sugar baby accounts, 1.4 million (17.5%), according to the site, belong to students across the British universities.
According to Seeking Arrangement, University of Kent, University of Cambridge and University of Westminster compose the TOP 3 of the most sugar baby-dense academic institutions, each accommodating 950, 874 and 801 babies respectively. Other varsities include University of Manchester (757), University of Portsmouth (666), University of Arts London (627), University of Leeds (601), University of Exeter (592 and Goldsmith University of London (554). The TOP 10 is rounded off with Manchester Metropolitan University which has 366 sugar babies on board.
It seems that men here, the sugar daddies, are aware of this; claiming they want to ʻʻsee you succeed’’, they offer their help - support, mentorship and financial resources. But the ‘sugaring’ game is not that simple - you must be willing to give something in return.
According to Vbajpai, 53, things would go easy: ʻʻWe meet, chat, have drinks n dinner and up with passion in bed.’’
On his profile, Vbajpai describes himself as empathetic and gentle; enjoys movies, theatre plays, golf and music. Entrepreneur. Annual income is over £620’000. Net worth - £30 million. No strings attached. Intimacy. Preferably, with Caucasian girls.
While he is looking for a NSA relationship, Vbajpai does not want a one-night stand. Source: Kate Kulniece
A few seconds later, a message wondering if I am still interested pops up. This would be a ʻʻPPM’’ type of arrangement, he notes; £550 per meeting. He does not live in London, I come to find out. Vbajpai, accordingly holding a golf club in his profile photo, is based in New Dehli, the capital of India. ʻʻEach trip of mine we meet a few times so this gets multiplied.’’
Spoiledmissy - bronzy with a full-coverage foundation to match her fake tan, neatly cut and straightened bleach blonde locks, a bright pink lipstick and round shiny earrings to complement the Barbie aesthetic - seems to have caught his attention.
Depending on the number of his visits, I am looking at between an extra £1,100 and £3,300 per month; or £13,200 - £39,600 a year. This is more than the annual income for a fully qualified NHS nurse, or could be enough for a year’s worth of rent for a spacious two-bedroom apartment in the luxurious area of Covent Garden. £36,000 is also almost 1.5 times more than the tuition fee loan I already have on my name.
ʻʻIt’s a win-win as I see it,’’ says Jessica*. ʻʻI’ll get back to you later!’’
Jessica, 22, is amongst the almost 3 million sugar babies seeking for financial support in America, where the overall student debt has reached $1.3 trillion. She began ‘sugaring’ three years ago when she enrolled for her Business Finance studies at the University of Connecticut, one of the top ranking academic institutions in the Southern state. Tuition and student fees included, Jessica was looking at more than $37,000 per year - money her family did not have.
Her single mother, who had migrated from Cambodia in the early 80s, had been working long hours as a housekeeper for over two decades. ʻʻMaking peanuts. Literally.’’
Without her first sugar daddy - a 45-year-old CEO of a technology company - whom she saw two or three times a month, things would have been ʻʻimpossible’’. Juggling four jobs at a time - a bus driver, an intern, a waitress and a personal assistant - was draining both physically and mentally. The monthly allowance of $2500 (over £1800) ʻʻreally helped to make ends meet’’.
Jessica is now on her way to meet newlyweds; a ʻʻkinky evening’’ for which the couple, a housewife and a manager of a reputable bank, has already transferred her $500. ʻʻEasy money.’’
ʻʻAlways make sure they send you money upfront,’’ Jessica advises me, ʻʻNever do anything for free. Get guys to invest in yourself. Massages, skincare routines, plastic surgery, clothes, exercise classes.’’
Paula* seems to share a similar opinion. ʻʻI’m about to add ʻʻIF YOU ARE NOT A SUGAR DADDY PLEASE DO NOT MESSAGE ME’’ to my SA profile,’’ reads her post on one of the sugar baby community groups on Facebook. ʻʻThis loser has a wife and kids and think I’m gonna date him for free. You gotta pay the cost to be the boss. [...] AND WHY ARE YOU ON A SUGAR DATING APP LOOKING FOR WOMEN IF YOU’RE BROKE??’’
Her post is liked over 30 times; some people have also shared it to their timeline. Charlotte*, one of the over thousand members of Sugar Babies 101 🔥🧠💝 Ladies Only, has also left a comment: ʻʻLol, this guy thought Imma send him a titty pic for free!!! You can go and watch free porn if you want!’’ ʻʻTreat me like a real lady!’’
Indeed, on Seeking Arrangement and Wade’s other creations - MissTravel, Seeking Millionaire and WhatsYourPrice -, money seems to be one’s main trump card. The more you can offer, the more you can expect. An attractive companion over dinner or a glass of cocktail. Someone you can go abroad and travel the vast world. And someone with whom you can explore your sexual desires.
When I tell Jessica that one POT (potential sugar daddy) has offered me a monthly allowance of £8,000, she says I should take it without too much deliberation.
ʻʻThe problem is,ʼ’ she explains, ʻʻthe society has moralized sex too much.’’ In parallel to what Wade, a sugar daddy himself, noted in his essay, ‘sugaring’ allows students to ʻʻfocus on what you truly are passionate about without having to worry about the financial support.’’ ‘’You can do anything! You can be that journalist or author you always wanted to be!’’
ʻʻSex will always be a part of relationship - so why not make most out of it?’’
*All the names have been changed to protect the identity.
